Attack of the Sparkle Trolls

Like a fart in an elevator, there’s no escaping Sparkle Trolls. 

What is a Sparkle Troll? I don’t think I could explain any better than this 

Sparkle trolls are the role-playing game industry’s version of the dreaded SJW, and this is to say that they worship at the Temple of Wokeness. 

The menace that is, “wokeness,” has spread its tentacles beyond academia and into every crevice of American life. Its colonization attempts to transform the very essence of American culture, and the rot is beginning to take root across the world. It’s become our biggest export. While the government schools have become breeding grounds for perversion and degeneracy. 

The parental battle against wokeness took center stage during the pandemic as the world grew aware of how deep its tentacles had penetrated. Parents and individuals alike were horrified to discover that “Furries,” go to school acting like cats or dogs. They literally screech and bark, and their teachers must treat them like animals. They have their own litter box in taxpayer funded bathrooms.

What is wokeness?

Wokeness is the artificial personification of ideological subversion by Oligarchs and Bankers using divide and conquer tactics to distract the American people and cause them to fight each other.

First, our rulers, the Oligarchs felt threatened by the unity of the people. I could go into detail but that’s another story altogether. Feeling threatened, they used their influence to pit the people against each other based on immutable laws of nature like, gender and race. The Oligarchs used their media platforms, or bribed those they didn’t own, to propagate their message. Today, this divisive content and its influences lords over music, television, social media, movies, and video games. Most companies have opted to play ball along with the corporations by displaying some form of identity politics. For those that don’t openly support wokeness or worse, those that openly oppose wokeness, a new vernacular has entered the lexicon, cancel culture. 

Cancel culture is the practice of withdrawing support for individuals and organizations after they have been accused of objectionable behavior.

What does this look like? Boycotting a person or company because of wrong think are examples of cancel culture. Refusing to work with someone because of their perceived moral failings is cancel culture. Publicly shaming someone because they vote differently is cancel culture. Ridiculing and shaming individuals that pray to a different god, or to a god at all, is cancel culture. Censorship, banning of speech, and retroactively changing books are also examples of cancel culture.

As a baby of the seventies and child of the eighties I have been forced to watch as the icons of my youth are slaughtered on the altar of wokeness. One of these things is Dungeons and Dragons, or more specifically tabletop role playing games. Those of us old enough to have lived through the satanic panic can certainly appreciate the irony of seeing the same circular logic from the disciples of woke. The mentally unstable screech about intolerance while simultaneously being intolerant of any other viewpoints.

The presence of evil things within a setting is not condoning these things. Honestly, I can’t believe I have to tell people this, but here we are.

Here are a few examples of changes made to the lore in the last few years.

  • Orcs: The ludicrous idea that Orcs are representative of real-world races. Good grief.
  • Drow: Basically, evil Drow are now the exception. 
  • Mind-Flayers: Remember, brain eating fictional entities are people too.
  • Beholder: Who cares if a giant eyeball thinks it’s the superior species.

Soon the D&D elf will lose its elf immortality because it represents Elf Supremacy. This removal and erasing of lore are an issue because it sets a dishonest and disheartening precedent. It becomes an even bigger issue when companies begin retroactively changing the content of digital books based on this circular logic. And as we have seen with the video game industry, eventually digital content is placed behind paywalls. Now, these companies will say that owning online content means an individual is leasing access to content, but that’s just dishonest. What they really mean is, you can view the content as long the company chooses to make it available to you. These unsolicited changes to already purchased online content will be one of the biggest factors leading people away from virtual content. 

Ah well, the company on the coast is way, way more popular than they deserve. 

Folks, there’s other game systems out there and you should try them.

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