The King’s Ax

“Please, cut the shit,” said Ella. She looked the young lawyer in his eyes, “Give me the check and you get the keys to the facility.” She smiled. “You did make sure it’s a cashiers check, correct?”

“Yes Mrs Jaimes,” he said as placed the briefcase on the table. He pulled out papers, shoving them to Ella. “Everything is in order. Your attorney faxed the bill of sale and signed the contract two days ago. As you are aware, of course.” He pulled out another set of papers and said, “These are the confidentiality papers you agreed to sign.” He slid the second set of papers across the table to Ella.

     “What do they say again?”

     The lawyer smiled and replied, “It stipulates that you will never speak about the contents of the storage facility. Specifically, you are to refrain from discussing the frozen specimen and or the sale with anyone. Breaking the confidentiality agreement would put my clients within their legal rights to sue for damages.”

     Ella laughed out loud. She hadn’t talked about this shit in years. She looked squarely at the tall good looking lawyer. He smelled of aftershave and cigarettes. A few drops of a red sauce dotted his tie, probably ketchup. 

     “Oh honey. You people don’t have anything to worry about. Worst experiences of my life,” replied Ella. “Besides, no one believes in any of it anyways.” 

She hurriedly signed the papers, thrusting them back to the lawyer as she finished. 

The lawyer double checked the signed documents, nodding his head. The locks of the briefcase clicked open. He reached into the briefcase and removed a medium sized manila envelope. He handed her the envelope, “All right ma’am. Here is your cashier’s check in the amount of ten billion US Dollars.” The lawyer hesitated, “Is there anything else we can do for you,” he asked. 

     Ella elegantly opened the envelope and scanned the check. She looked up at the lawyer and then back at the check. It smelled crisp and fresh. It smelled like paper tests she used to take in grade school. Satisfied, she stood up and walked through the hotel room tossing the room key on the table. She reached for the door, “Goodbye.” 

     “Wait. Wait Mrs Jaimes.” He quickly stood, grabbed his briefcase and followed her across the room. “Can I ask you a question,” he asked, startled by her rapid departure?

     “Of course,” she replied while standing in the open door way.

     “Is it real? The specimen, is it real,” asked the lawyer? “Are the artifacts genuine as well?”

     “Now whose breaking the contract by,” laughed Ella.

     His head snapped back, “Apologies ma’am. Have a nice day.”

     Ella laughed, “I’m just hacking on ya. There are hundreds of relics in that collection, hundreds. As for the specimen I can assure you that it’s real. I was there the day it was caught and eventually killed.” Ella dropped her head and breathed deeply. 

The impervious to rust and light as a feather Dwarven war ax is the real prize though.” she said.

     Dumbfounded the lawyer responded, “Bigfoot and Dwarves? What are you talking about?”

Ella ignored his skepticism. “The war ax is magical. It was forged for a great King long ago. With it the mighty King united the dwarves against their mortal enemies, the Orcs. Legend says one day the ax will once again unite the lost Dwarven race.”

“Ok I’ll bite. Where did your husband find the ax?”

     “Hiking in the Allegheny mountains. We were exploring a large cave system and we literally ran into a dwarf. The shock of it nearly scared me to death. He was a nice little fellow though he claimed to be 352 years old. Amazingly enough he spoke a mix of broken English and a form of Cherokee. Anyways, he gave it to my husband. He claimed that by doing so it would eventually get where it needed to be.”

     The lawyer laughed incredulously and said, “Right. Mrs Jaimes I’m sorry I asked. Please have a nice day.”

     She grinned and said, “Do you think the people you work for would pony up ten million dollars for something that’s fake.” 

The high pitch laughter lingered as the door closed behind her.

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